Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Morning After a Hookup

How do you feel the morning after a hookup?

10 comments:

  1. I have been at UCSB for about a year now, and to this day I have had only one “hookup”, which ended up in me dating the guy for about a month. We didn’t go all the way because he had “whiskey dick” and I don’t really get pleasure from oral sex. And I was too tired to have a drunk make out session (even though we had a few sessions on the streets of Isla Vista on our way back to my apartment). Early in the morning I noticed that the guy woke up and looked around to figure out where he was (my bedroom) but he just went back to bed. In the morning however it was not awkward and we actually laid in my bed until 2pm talking and making out, getting to know each other better. This has been my only hook up at UCSB. Back home I have had more hookups, and after the passion and lust wore off I start freaking out; asking myself where my morals went and if I possibly contracted an STD (even though I would use a condom, and asked the guy if he was clean, as a gay man I have always had a fear of contracting HIV because the media makes it seem we are the only ones that contract it). I would feel really gross about my actions and feel unclean, but after awhile and one STD test later. I felt okay and put the hookup in the back of my mind. Some people are casual and guilt free about hookups (like my housemate), but that is not me! And that is how I feel about hook ups.
    I forgot I did have a second hookup; a threesome with two of my housemates. Thats another story, lets just say I felt like a need a deep cleansing afterwords...ugh

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  2. I have had a couple of "hook-ups" (which I am referring to as instances where P-V intercourse has occurred) and somehow both times it started out as a drunken, zero-expectation good time, and progressed into long committed relationships. Go figure.

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  3. Female, 21

    The morning after a hook-up brings with it a plethora of feelings depending on the circumstances that propagated it. If it was a drunken hook-up, I normally thank them for a good time and leave as quickly as possible, but if it meant more to me then I normally try to express it, such as asking what their breakfast plans are or at least exchanging contact information. Hook-ups are a good way of finding out if you have chemistry and are attracted to each other, but to find out if your personalities are compatible, there needs to be a non-hook-up afterdate or follow up.

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  4. Female, 24
    I feel pretty good the morning after a hookup. I was pretty much a sober hook up kind of girl to where I know exactly who and what I was getting into. In the rare case that alcohol was involved, I was very aware of who I was hooking up with and knew what I wanted. Hookups are fun, stress free, and gratifying sexually. No strings attached, expectations, or rules that come along with relationships.

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  5. female, 20
    I had one hookup and will never have another again. I still feel so much regret and it has been about 4 months since it's happened. I believe the reason I feel so terrible is because it occurred a month or two after I got dumped from a very serious relationship. I had eventually came into contact again with that ex and we were speaking kindly to each other, saying we missed each other. Then one night I met with this guy and we spent all night together drinking a little wine and watching movies then went all the way by the end of the night. I never saw myself as that type of person and clearly see what alcohol can do to oneself. I am also a person who never knows quite clearly how to say NO. However, this night I guess I saw it as an opportunity to experience things with another guy(as my ex has been my only real relationship). For me the hook up was not fun and stress free as the girl above me stated. I believe it was this way because I was still attached, in the back of my mind, to my ex.

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  6. female 20

    I don't hook up because I'm scared of how I'll feel the morning after.

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  7. Female 20

    Personally, I don't like the "hook-up" culture. I have hooked up (meaning making out) a couple of times, but it just feels empty. In the moment it can be fun and I'm telling myself "Just live life! Loosen up a little." So I do. It's not that I regret it after, but I know now that I do not want to be sexually intimate with another person unless we are already committed to each other.
    To me physical contact is like icing on the cake. You need to have a strong foundation of compatibility, like interests and values first AND THEN... you go girl!

    Plus, the cake tastes much better when you know you have the whole thing to look forward to, not just one slice :)

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  8. Going off the cake analogy: But what if you don't know what your favorite flavor is and want to try a couple different slices?

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  9. Continuing the cake analogy: But trying too much cake will leave either of two things... sick of cake or obese.. Maybe both.

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  10. Female, 23
    When I was about 18 I had my second sexual ecounter with someone that was not my boyfriend nor was he someone that I knew very well at the heat of the moment I agreed to have sex and did not think about how I might feel afterwards and to my surprise it was not that much of a big deal but now being in the dating scene especially in college just having a hook-up for me is not comforting or fulfilling. I have come to realize for myself at least that though at that moment it may seem ok to say yes the feeling the next day for myself is horrible. I start to question my morals, question my feelings for the guy and also start to contemplate how he feels or what he thinks. In the end the after feeling is just horrible and depressing.

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